Dear friends,
Please congratulate me….I have been away from home for over five weeks now. I can hardly believe it has been that long...the adventures have been numerous, yet it all seems a bit foggy now that we have landed and planted here at Green Valley. Time moves at its own pace here, the schedule is…flexible. Yesterday, on a lovely walk with my roommates, we got a little lost in between Bommenahalli, Muchenahalli and Shampura….resulting in the English classes that we were supposed to be teaching, being a little late. But it was no problem. …Indian time rules state that no deadline is a set deadline…and I think this is a VERY good thing for my obsessive compulsive, STICK-to-the-schedule, personality.
Instead of writing this, I should be going to pick out the songs we will sing for Chapel this morning. Jay has appointed me “music head” when it comes to Chapel and Sunday service, so I have the task of trying to determine which song the students know, and will robustly shout out during service, entirely drowning out my voice, AND the guitar, and which songs they do NOT know, and therefore will stand there awkwardly looking at their pages, looking at me, with puppy-dog eyes that say “why are you ruining my worship time by picking songs I don’t know?” Forgive me….for I think I exaggerate a bit here….however, I feel license to, in my insecurity in being “music head.” Especially when Paupu (one of the older men on Staff, his wife is my surrogate ‘maamie’ ) specifically asks a group of us to meet ahead of time and make sure we practice. I mean, come on! It’s India for goodness’ sake, it’s not like we are going to look like the polished performances of Beulah Alliance. Ok, so maybe we might actually see if we know the tempo of a song before we sing it. That might be helpful. Chapel is just one part of the routine that exemplifies how I feel here. On one hand, it is a routine that makes me feel content, something I can depend on. On the other, I never know what I am going to get, and I face it with a mixture of apprehension and uncertainty. In spite of my insecurities, still the day trickles by, sort of like a creek runs…you cannot comprehend how much water is passing in the few minutes time that you spare it a glance. In between marking journals, preparing to teach English, doing devotions, hanging out with the students, and trying to decide if I should come home at Christmas or brave another three months in India….or the Philippines…..or Malaysia…..or…...
Hey…did you know what the ‘dot-dot-dot’ in writing is called? Well, you’re in luck, because you are reading the notes of Miss.I Am A Totally Incompetent English Teacher So I Have To Read English Textbooks, and therefore I have discovered that they are called “Ellipses points.” And as such, I have realized that I use them far too much in my writing. I’m sure that if this was in speech, they would be replacing many ‘ums’ and ‘hmms.’ Teaching English has come to be my fall-back for when my teetering emotional stability leans too far to the side of “Why am I here?!” which, unfortunately happens more than I had hoped. So when the unsettled feelings come, I revert to the need for me to teach! It is actually pretty crucial that the students here learn English, considering that some of them know barely more than “hello, my name is…” and yet are having five lecture sessions per day on the Bible, which are ALL in English. I pray that God will enable me to assist them in any way, incompetent teacher that I am, and I feel like so far we have been making progress, I have even given them a test, and most of them performed decently well! (Don’t be lured into thinking by this statement that my classes are all strict and boring….most of the time my classroom resembles more of a Kindergarten-style of teaching….games, songs, and BIG hand gestures and facial expressions. This week we were focussing on manners and dining room….it is a bit of a pain, now I am constantly aware when I have my elbows on the table :).
On an entirely different track, if you would like some wonderful India soundtracks….and no, I don’t mean like the soundtrack of the Hindi movie that we went and saw in Bangalore this past weekend (couldn’t understand a word, but the dancing and over-dramatization was hilarious-it was called “Blue” if you’re interested) but a soundtrack that has been on our playlist here, is Share the Well by Caedmon’s Call. It is a compilation of songs that they wrote when travelling around India, and for the most part, perfectly describes our experience! I’d definitely recommend the title track….although, when we were in Ooti, we were singing “Share the warmth” rather than “Well” because we were so freezing. Who knew India gets cold?!
Hmm…what else can I report? I suppose that I could ask for prayer. My spirit is in turmoil as I try to determine if I am supposed to come home at Christmas or if I should stay here and face whatever adventures come. Things would be tight financially if I do stay until March (when school here is finished), but if I go home for Christmas, then I would be able to spend a little more on a possible trip up to Delhi one of these weekends to see the Taj Mahal and Agra. The biggest worry in my mind is, if I go home, will I regret that I didn’t take every opportunity open to me for further travel and adventure? My heart is crying to be home for Christmas, to see my family and friends again, and start planning the whatever-comes-next after one goes to India. It feels like my life will have to be radically different now that I’ve lived half-way across the world. But how will I keep it from being just the same-old? So if you receive any divine revelations concerning my future, PLEASE tell me. It would be most appreciated.
My greatest love to all of you, I lift my mug of precious coffee to you (I know, I know, I’m in India, I’m supposed to be drinking Chai, but today we splurged and made some good ole ‘joe’) and wish you a bright day, may you have a surplus of the contentment and certainty in your life that seems to be lacking in mine. I remain…clinging to Psalm 143, in my words “Oh completer, finisher of all, in order to glorify Yourself, grasp my heart and continue its beating; be all that I could hope and rescue me from distress. Make our opposers impotent, unable even to speak, get rid of their offending presence entirely, because Your love is full of eternal passion, for I am Your servant.” (the last couple of verses.) This sustains me...this and the promise that Shardhamma, our cook, will give me a lesson in Indian cooking today….
P.S. I have to share this quote with you, my roommate gave it to me for when I am frustrated with certain people….
“Don’t be angry because an ass is annoying you…………………Be happy that you are not an ass”
Praise God for the little joys…
<3
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