From my heart to yours

Hello Friends....

My heart is a bit torn today as I sit here in a little cyber-cafe in chikballipor, the small town closest to Green Valley, my stomping grounds for the next two months. The past couple of days have been a struggle, if I could describe it I would say it feels like growth....my soul is stretching.

To start, I must say that I realized recently the possible effect that the beautiful pictures I had the privilege of taking, and the wonderful things I got to do in the two weeks of our orientation, is to make all those wonderful, gracious friends who supported me wonder if they were contributing to missions, or my holiday! :) I feel as though this is something to be addressed, as it has plagued me a bit, as well. For some time, well, until I got settled at Green Valley, I have wondered at the purpose of my being in Asia. I SO desire it to be for a lasting, fruit-producing, time of growth and sharing of God's love with these people so far away and so in need of support. The orientation weeks really didn't look like that, they were a time of preparation, though. I don't know if it can be understood, all that I gained in that time. My mind was broadened, my perspective altered, as I learned about all of these different cultures I would need to embrace, as I introduced a new diet, new activity, a new purpose, to my life. Our orientation was a team-building time as we got to know each other, and a great way to ease into the lifestyle of most Asian countries. I worry that this sounds as though I am trying to convince you, when it is true. Although at the time, I had to convince myself. Looking back, however, I see it for the valuable time it was. Now, however, we get down to business!

Green Valley is my temporary home, it is about an hour north of Bangalore, in these stunning hills which remind me of the scenery around Jerusalem. I am sharing a room with Allison, the only other female intern, and, praise God, we have our own bathroom :). You have no idea the joy it brings me to walk into the 'CR' as a beloved Philippino friend calls it (Comfort Room) and see our little shelves of cosmetics sitting there, all ready to be used. It makes having no shower or bathtub almost worth it :). Sponge baths are the order of the day, and thankfully we have a water heater-coil which, although sketchy (I was slightly electrocuted upon primary usage), gives us a bucketful of hot water in about ten minutes! Much better than the previous routine of boiling water in the mornings to bath. I sleep in a bunk bed, with a mattress about 1 1/2 inches thick, and thankfully we have a fan in our room, but no climate control otherwise. These silly little comfort things are so unimportant, and yet they are some of the biggest differences from our culture in North America. Here, you just deal with the bugs, with the heat, with the bouncing busses and beaping horns. My mind starst to muddle into the common attitude of, 'why bother?' when I consider making improvements. This is just how things are. And why shouldn't they be? Why does our world need to adapt to us, instead of us having to adapt to the world? We are living in Babylon, are we not?!

Although my bags are unpacked, I feel that for some reason, it is a much more painstaking process to emotionally unpack being here. It isn't the place, and it isn't even the people, for some reason I feel as though I, myself, am the problem. Do not mistake me, this moroseness is fleeting, and I am easily distracted by praising with the students, most of whom I can barely pronounce their names, most of which whom can barely speak enough English to understand when I ask them their names.... English class preparation is another wonderful distraction! :) It took me until this morning, or maybe yesterday as well, to open my heart to embrace this place. I was questioning my purpose in being here, when I decided to play piano and was joined by two students who have already become precious to me, Comb and Melody, calling to me 'sister!' (every girl's Indian name), so excited that I play piano and sing. In God's love, I heard them tell me that they had prayed that God would send someone who loved music and would help teach them. Sister Lauren, Answer to Prayer! What an awesome reminder that this trip is GOD'S work, not mine, He will provide me with purpose, with joy, with contentment. I am so grateful also for the message this morning from Jay, as he spoke of simply following Christ, of letting Him lead me into the goodness of what He has planned, and not worrying about the future.

Another answer to prayer, through the sobs and muffled voice of talking with Ma Mere, I was blessed to hear how she had asked for prayer for me, from two lovely ladies at a church, and how they had prayed for a mother-figure for me during this time. Well, I think I've found her :) Her name is Chingluan, although the girls call her "mammie," and she is this wonderful lady from Myanmar who helps on staff at the school. She does the gardening, overseas housework, and is a counselor for the girl-students. What a beautiful lady she is, and already a great comfort to me. Although simple, and barred by language, I feel as though wisdom and comfort pour from her spirit.

My heart still yearns for those at home, and I will admit to some tears at the thought of their sweet care, and yet....so much to do! English class will start tomorrow, Allison and I will split the class into beginners and Intermediates, I will probably take the beginners (Oh, I have so much understanding and appreciation for Louis, when I see closer the difficulty of coming into a school where you don't know the language!) and teach an hour and a half class every weekday. I have the privilege of marking their journals, a reflection on what they are doing in devotions. I will also be doing some piano and singing classes. Last night we had a games night, and lo and behold, musical chairs, duck-duck-goose, and musical statues were the biggest of hits! The students are quick to laugh, to goof off, and ever-so-gracious in their appreciation of our presence. And beyond all of this?! Endless projects of gardens and painting and girl's-nights....

How, you ask, did I ever feel purposeless? Oh, just the mystery of me, I suppose! :)

Some extra tid-bits......did you know that in India they have a type of mint called 'tit-bits'? And at Green Valley they cut the grass by hand, with garden-shears/scythes and sweep it up with mini-brooms. Curry is the flavor of the month, year, decade, millenium, and thankfully, they have mastered enough ways to make it, that I have yet to become tired of it :) Everyday my spice-level is challenged and increased....In India we have huge beetles that sound like helicopters as they fly around, they are probably about the size of a loonie, and an inch tall. THankfully we are in the cool season right now, so at night it is a perfect temperature to sleep with just a sheet on the bed, although being out during the afternoon is still entirely foreign to the culture.

I feel good here, my body is doing amazingly well. Although I have been laughed at for this comment, I will repeat it, "I'm proud of my little immune system." I have a sniffle, but it isn't too bad, and everything else is working 'smoothly' :). But I will save the rest of the bathroom stories for a more personal correspondence.

Soon we will have internet directly from the school, and updating this will become much easier and more convenient!

How to end this.....this post takes the cake for most involved......I suppose I can only end with my deepest apologies for taking so much of your time to have to read this! Although, if your heart is as fond of mine as mine is of yours, any time, no matter length, to hear from you, is valued greater than gold (or should I say rupees....)